the duckyblog

A Post About Richard

2006-10-22T22:54:00.000+01:00

Since Richard's lovely post about me (well, partially about me, mainly a long, long post about final fantasy), he has been nagging me to return the favour, so here it is!

10 fasinating facts about Richard (Part 1 of 2 'cause I have to go to bed)

1. Before meeting me, Richard had never kissed a girl. Or spoken to a girl. Or been in a girl's presence without disintigrating into a quivering wreck. That's right, it's all thanks to me and my wonderful influence that Richard is the handsome and confident individual he is today. Don't all rush to thank me at once.

2. It was my fault that Richard ended up with long hair. He went to get it cut a couple of months after we met and came out looking like a monk having completely failed to tell the hairdresser to stop. I made him promise never to get his hair cut again and he took me at my word and completely refused to get it cut for OVER 2 YEARS!!!

3. Richard has been meaning to get a job ever since I have known him. He is still unemployed.

4. Richard has recently been lifting weights and now has enormous biceps. You should give them a feel next time you see him. Seriously.

5. Richard is a man of many names. When we first met he went by the moniker of Dickybod. In a bid to come up with a different name that I could call him, I asked Jess for advice and she mentioned this really arrogant Richard she knew who insisted everyone call him 'Chard. I immediately began teasing Richard by calling him this, much to his chagrin, until finally he decided he liked it and now look at him! And does he give me any credit for it? Does he?

To be continued...

Blog-B-Q III

2006-06-20T22:29:00.000+01:00

Blog-B-Q III is on its way!

It will be held at my house in the late afternoon/early evening of the 7th July and may well branch into a party.

I am off to Venice tomorrow evening, and return next thursday, so most of the organising will be done by my capable sister, Helen.

Invitiations will be sent out to all those invited in due course. Much as I would like to invite the whole internet, space in my back garden means that admission is by invitation only (and there will be a bouncer on the door to check, of course). Oh, and it will be an entirely vegetarian barbecue. We hope to see you all there!

Sarah is STRESSED!!!!

2006-05-22T00:08:00.000+01:00

And where do you come in to this, you might ask? Well, here's how:

Sarah's exams start in two weeks time. These are more important exams than your GCSEs, or AS levels, or even A levels. These are, in fact, the exams that determine whether or not Sarah stays at Oxford, and she failed them last year. This, naturally, makes Sarah even more stressed about these exams, and that is where you come in. For the next two weeks, Sarah would very much appreciate it if you texted her with encouraging comments, or jokes, or odes to how wonderful she is. Anything really that will help her feel less stressed. In return, if she passes (thanks to all your help), Sarah promises to throw the BEST PARTY EVER (probably consisting of another Blog-B-Q) and will invite everyone who helped! If you don't have Sarah's mobile number, you can either get it of Richard (Stewart and Lewis) or Sarah HB, or Sophie, anyone who seems likely to have it really, or send her an e-mail, that will also be acceptable. Let the supportiveness commence!

Sarah

p.s. Please help! Otherwise Sarah will cry, and you wouldn't want that now, would you?

2006-05-03T23:55:00.000+01:00

I've been feeling I ought to post for a while, and here is the perfect opportunity! So move up people, I'm hopping on the wagon.

First the photo:

It's me doing an oh so amusing walk down invisible stairs. It's over a year old, I have, like, no recent photos of me! I don't know what's happened!

Name: Sarah Jane Browncross
Age: 20
Height: mmm, 5 foot 4 I think. It's about average for a girl
Weight: I don't know, I've put on loads of weight recently, so about 9 and a half stone probably. My jeans don't fit anymore. *looks sad*
Hair colour: It's never quite recovered from when I dyed it Chocolate Brown...
Hair Style: Long and untidy, I'm going to get it cut soon.
Eye Colour: Hazel
Blood type: B positive. I think it's appropriate. And also, why do none of you guys give blood? You can't all be having sex with a man who has engaged in anal sex with another man, surely?
Status: Single, and also Alpha female.
Build: Not so skinny anymore... Damn half stone! Damn fattening pasta!
Siblings: Two sisters
Pets: Leo-Oliver, Sylvia-Lenin, Joseph-Galileo, all the guppies, and also the new baby frogs.
Pro-life or pro-choice: My opinions have changed as I have aged. Pro-life.
Right or left: Left wing all the way baby!
Favourite food: Cheese! (although I'm not supposed to eat it anymore)
Favourite beverage: Orange Juice (although I'm not supposed to drink that either. Damn nutritionist!)
Chosen degree subject: Physics
Chosen Unis: Oxford. I don't really get much of a choice anymore.
Personality: Well, I asked Richard for help on this. I think I'm just going to copy the conversation.

Sarah says:
describe my personality
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
sexilicious
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
seductive volatile
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
botyliscious
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
gorgeous
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
funny
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
amazgin
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
erm
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
foring
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
with a k
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
erm
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
i dunnno
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
you think i wanted you for your personality?
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
ok
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
you are
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
funn
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
ynice
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
kind
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
lok out for others
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
supportive
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
erm
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
awas there for people

A round of applause for Richard folks!

What I like about girls: They're so much pleasanter than boys, they smell nicer, and they don't make stupid jokes when you're trying to have important conversations with them. And they totally understand what you're talking about even if you're not making much sense.
What I like about boys: Um... I suppose they can be quite funny at times, and they're good for cuddles.
Music tastes: Stuff with a tune. Also, against my better judgement, I'm getting a little into metal.
Film tastes: Nice ones. I no longer watch emotionally challenging ones. I have real life for that.
TV shows: I have no TV. And nothing will ever compare to The Farmer Wants a Wife.
Hobbies: Dungeons and Dragons! I've just started a game up here! It's so cool! I'm the Dungeon Master! I'll do a post soon and show you all the monsters I've made! And also singing.
Nationality: English
Heritage: I come from a long and proud line of illegitimate Bristolians.
Favourite colour: I like them all. What's a few nanometres between friends?
Favourite metal: Nightwish
Favourite non-metal:
Dislikes: Oxford NHS
Pet type: Cats, fish, frogs, gerbils, anything that won't die on us really. And tortoises! I really want a tortoise! Please can someone get me a tortoise? I've thought up a name and everything! It's really good!
Pet age: I think Leo-Oliver is about 6. We're not terribly good at record keeping.
House: Semi-detached
Parents still married?: Not at all.
Intelligence: Pretty good, but I'm also modest.
Gender: Female
Sexual orientation: Straight.
Homophobe?: Not at all, my last boyfriend was totally gay.
Anything else-phobe: Water. *shudders*
Been on a boat?: Yes
A plane: Yes
A hovercraft: No
Town of residence: Oxfard! and also Dulwich!
Any crushes?: There's no-one good here.
Best mate?: SOPHIE!!! and also my entourage of boys.
Am I mad? Not at all.
Lonely?: I miss all you London folk.
Feeling towards exams?: So much better than last year.
Do I like you? I like everybody!
Distinguishing features: Aura of radiance.
Any skills?: I'm pretty good at fixing things. And also at finding triple scalar products.
What would you do if in command of all?: Make everyone half Betazoid
Thoughts of future: To finally make it into the second year.
What's that?: A stupid question.
Cock size: Well, obviously I don't have one, but I do have information I could reveal... For a small fee of course...
Favourite sport: Punting
Favourite real animal: Specific puppies
Favourite mythical creature: All my monster! I love them!
Date of birth: 06/12/1985
Star sign: It's been scientifically proven to be rubbish. They had a article about it in Physics World this month. I'll show you if you like.
Chinese new year: Call me judgemental, but I'll say that this one's rubbish as well.
Happy?: Finally.
EMO!: Please. Do I really look like one?
Then what are you?: An Oxford intellectual.
Errr...: and a geek
Religious: Christian. The happy clappy sort.

Monsters post coming soon folks!

2006-03-08T16:41:00.000+01:00

Oh my goodness!

The Hero Machine is THE coolest thing ever! Look at me! I'm in Star Trek! Aren't I cool!

Canada still

2005-07-11T15:55:00.000+01:00

It's now 7:55 in the morning here and I have just woken up from a slightly strange dream about the duds (I had a party, they came, a good time was had by all).

If anyone wants to talk to me whilst I'm over here, I'll be online about 3:30 for half an hour or so each day. If you can't get me then, then there's always 6am, which is the other time I'll be online...

In the meantime, I suggest that you all e-mail me amusing tales to make up for all the msn conversations I'm not having. Come on people, get writing!

Canada

2005-07-11T06:07:00.000+01:00

Yesterday was a long day. 32 hours long, in fact, the majority of which were spent sitting on a plane reading trashy magazines or watching pretty bad rom-coms. We set of for Canada at 4pm and arrived at 6pm (with a 10 hour flight in between) where we made our way to our house for the next three weeks. We've done a house exchange with a grandmother called Betty so we're in her pad in North Vancouver whilst she's gone to our house in London. It's such an old lady's house. There's not a lot of modern technology and we're all sleeping in perfumed guest bedrooms (my room contains a bed, a chair, and a small bedside table. Oh, and a stopped clock).

Today we went out to the shops. Betty's car is only a couple of years old, but it doesn't have centralised locking and the windows have to be wound down with a little handle. It does, however, have automatic gear shifting. Canada is like America in that the cities seem to have been built for cars. There aren't many pavements, and there is very little public transport. You're even supposed to drive to the ecology centre! which is where we visited this afternoon. We arrived to see a sign warning us that the trees could fall down at any time and told us to "use considerdate judgement". We then went into the ecology centre, which warned us about the different types of bear attack we might experience in the park and what to do about them. My favorite section was the one describing the difference between defensive and predatory attacks, which included the immortal line, "if the bear starts eating you, it is no longer a defensive attack". I was all ready to go home at that point, but instead we went for a brief stroll around the park, after first reading the list of all the danger point we might encounter and a list of the people who had died. Then it was on past a memorial stone to "Jaquie" who had died there whilst sunbathing... you get the point. We eventually returned to the safety of the street and returned home, thank goodness.

I'm off to bed now, it's half past ten here. More from me tomorrow, if I manage to avoid the falling trees and bears.

Goodnight

The Blogger Barbeque

2005-06-22T18:48:00.000+01:00

I am delighted to inform you all that a final date has been confirmed for the blogger barbeque.

It will be on Sunday 3rd of July from about 1pm onwards, at my house.

For those of you who don't know where I live (everyone except Sophie, Jess'n'Chris, Helen O and Richard), it will come as no surprise to you that I'm not putting my home address up on the internet.

Richard's friends (Lewis, Jon, Dave C, Dave J, Steve, Louis, Dan, Stompp), Richard will meet you at West Wickham station at a time he will arrange with you all.

Helen O's friends (Fan and Hane), although I haven't really talked to Helen about this, I assume that she will somehow get you to my house. Is that ok Helen?

For all of those who live with me (Helen), the barbeque will be held at the bottom of the garden. Turn right out of the back door and walk in a straight line until you hit the shed.

If there's anyone else I've already invited but left out here, don't worry, you're still invited, and if there's anyone I haven't yet invited who you feel should be included, comment and tell me so and I shall endevour to rectify the situation. Comment and let me know who's coming, so I know how many to get food for. Thank you!

p.s. Helen tells me that I should tell you all it is an entirely vegetarian barbeque. Any dish suggestions? Comment and let me know.

Well, I do hate to let a bandwagon roll past...

2005-06-07T22:00:00.000+01:00

01. Comment with your name and I will write a short phrase describing you.
02. I will then tell you what I admire about you.
03. I will make up a short drabble with the both of us in it.
04. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
05. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.
06. Put this in your journal.

A Dud's day out

2005-05-10T12:38:00.000+01:00

On Saturday we had a dud's trip to London, with one crucial difference....

no duds!

We did invite at least one dud, but our invitations were sadly rejected so Georgina, Sarah Hole, Sophie, Jess and I went off for a nice day out by ourselves.

The arrangement (as I was told) was to meet at the Imperial War museum at 10:30. I woke up at 9:53 (due to my alarm clock, my boyfriend, having not shown up) and panicked rather. I immediately phoned Jess, frantically apologising and promising to be there as soon as possible, only to be told that, actually, Swing dance lessons (the reason for our excursion to the museum) didn't actually start until 12 and everyone else was getting there at 11:30, they just knew I would be late.

Having been reassured (or insulted, depending on how you look at it), I proceeded to fall back asleep until my mum came to rouse me half an hour later. 11:30 came and went and I was still at home so I called Jess again to apologise from the car on the way there only to find that everyone (bar Jess who is super organised) had done the same thing and she was the only one there and getting a little worried.

Georgina, Sophie and I arrived just in time for the lessons and they were absolutely brilliant! There were these people in 40s costumes boogying away and it wasn't long before we were boogying with them. I love swing dance! I have a video, which I will attempt to put up now, but I've never done this before, so fingers crossed!

...

.....

........

Nope, not happening. Anyone have any ideas how?

Oh, and we were filmed for the ITV 5:00 news! It didn't get shown in the end but how exciting!

After the lessons had finished we went downstairs to the main part of the museum where we posed for some photos with an ARP warden. There was a rather dodgy looking bloke hanging around in the background during this and just as we were about to move on again he came up to us (and the ARP warden) and asked if he could take a picture of me wearing the wardens helmet and posing with the warden for THE SUNDAY TIMES!!!! He took down my name and everything to caption the picture with, but unfortuantely, on Saturday afternoon news happened and we didn't get on tv or in the papers after all.

Anyhoo, we left the museum and wandered on down to the Royal Festival Hall to collect Sarah Hole, who had been listening to a free jazz concert. Then we were off (via charing cross to get some lunch) to St Martin-in-the-fields for brass rubbing. Jess, Georgina and Sarah all went for small brasses, whereas me and Sophie (after some pursuasion from me) got huge ones. We were there for hours, rubbing away. Eventually the others finished their brass rubbings and came over to help us and we carried out a brief experiment into leadership styles. Sophie praised and encouraged her helpers, whereas I exhorted mine with cries of "make it SHINY!" and "rub, slaves, RUB!". (I think I would like to just briefly note that my brass rubbing was finished before Sophie's, and when we took them to the counter to pay, the lady in charge called her collegue over to look at mine, praising it and asking me if I was sure that I'd never done it before, although obviously I don't want to blow my own trumpet or anything, the others' were very good too.)

From there we walked to the Science museum, where we headed straight for the Launchpad. Sophie and I very nearly managed to construct a bridge over a river marked "extremely hard" and then I beat the Science museum's previous record for the highest tower built with their wonky bricks (16 as opposed to a paltry 15). There were some who tried to denigrate my achievement by pointing out that I was a 19 year old Oxford University student studying physics and not a 7 to 11 year old child like most of the visitors to the launch pad, but I won fair and square I tell you!

Speaking of Oxford, I then had to return to those dreaming spires so the others accompanied me back to Victoria and waved me off.

That evening I went to a ball at St Hilda's with my new St Hilda's friends, and it was brilliant! We danced the night away to the strains of MC Hammer (Can't touch this), Bryan Adams (Summer of '69), and Chesney Hawkes (I am the one and only). It was the perfect end to the perfect day.

2005-05-10T12:37:00.000+01:00

Me posing for a photo for the sunday times, as you do.

2005-05-10T12:36:00.000+01:00

Sophie's brass rubbing

2005-05-10T12:35:00.000+01:00

more brass rubbing, small brasses this time

2005-05-10T12:34:00.001+01:00

Looks like Georgina and I had the same idea

2005-05-10T12:34:00.000+01:00

The finished brass rubbings, look how shiny mine is! SHINY!

2005-05-10T12:33:00.001+01:00

Us walking to the Science museum

2005-05-10T12:33:00.000+01:00

walking, walking, walking...

2005-05-10T12:32:00.000+01:00

Group photo!

2005-05-10T12:31:00.000+01:00

Building bridges

2005-05-10T12:30:00.000+01:00

Me in the fat mirror, couldn't get anyone else to join me...

2005-05-10T12:29:00.000+01:00

Everyone in the thin mirror, they all wanted to join me for that one!

2005-05-10T12:28:00.000+01:00

Georgina attempting to mind-meld with a plasma ball.

2005-05-10T12:26:00.000+01:00

the tower (after it had fallen down) but it was taller than the steps behind it. It was so tall I had to go up the steps to put the last few bricks on!

2005-05-10T11:19:00.000+01:00

There must be an easier way to get photos on my profile, anyone know how?

2005-05-04T11:10:00.000+01:00

and now a slightly smaller version so that it's not too big for the profile.

2005-05-04T11:02:00.000+01:00

This is really just so that it's on the web so I can make it into my profile picture. But look! It's my beautiful boyfriend!

So, what was I saying?

2005-05-04T10:16:00.000+01:00

Hello dear readers

I realise that it has been a rather long time since I last blogged, and perhaps some of you have been wondering what has happened to me?

Well, wonder no longer. It is now trinity term in Oxford and my prelims are in about 5 weeks (for those of you who are not Oxford undergraduates, prelims are the exams I have to pass in order to move on to the second year, otherwise it's off to a new university for me). Term has been going well so far, working hard during the week and then toddling off down to London to see Richard each weekend (not that you'd know it from the amount I appear in his blog). It's been very nearly a year (11 days and counting) since we met on that fateful evening at Jess's house. For those of you that are interested, it is described here.

This anniversary has, of course, sent me into a state of nostalgia and so I've spent the morning rereading Richard's blogs from last May. They're brilliant! Full of veiled references to me, such as "met 2 people, 1 of whom scares me intensely, and the other was refered to earlier as 'i've just realised how long it took me to get to the point' " (just in case you're wondering, I was the non-scary one in that sentence). I went out to this Chinese restaurant yesterday and spent the entire meal recounting the story of how Richard and I started going out but, luckily for you guys, that nostalgised me out so much that I'm not going to do it again and instead I'm going to tell you about the Chinese restaurant.

Now, hopefully you all know I am a vegetarian and, I have to say, sometimes I do miss meat. I like meat, I find it a pleasant meal, and it saddens me that it is produced by such a cruel process that it means I can't eat it, but last night I found something amazing. It was.... wait for it.....

VEGETARIAN SOYA MEAT THAT TASTES LIKE MEAT!!!!!!!!!

Believe me vegetarians, this is no tofu, this is no bean curd, it's so much better than Quorn. It tastes like meat, it has the texture of meat, the carnivore I was with said it was excellent and almost exactly like real meat! Did you hear that? A carnivore said it tasted like meat!!!!

Helen will be coming up with Mum and Steph soon, but any other vegetarians who want to taste meat again (seriously, I had a vegetarian aromatic crispy duck with pancakes and it was so good I nearly cried. I had to get my friendly carnivore to try my vegetarian chicken noodles for me just to make sure it wasn't real meat that they'd given me by mistake!) e-mail me! leave comments! Come to Oxford and I will take you to this place! No more will we have to eat mashed potato with added peas and sweetcorn in the shape of a sausage and have to pretend that it is anything other than degoutant! (aren't you proud Sophie! I used French!)

I will post again soon, but for now readers, au revoir (and again Sophie! twice!)

POST THEN!!!

2005-03-09T16:34:00.000+01:00

That was Richard's exhortation to me about a minute ago, and in reponse I am posting.

I haven't been up long today, having slept for 13 hours last night and 0 hours the night before. I had a deadline at 8:30am and another at 5pm that afternoon and didn't have time for sleep amongst all the work.

Tonight I will be doing more work, but I will be taking a break in order to go to the last CU of term. We're having a worship session tonight, which should be really fun, and they're also going to announce the new CU reps for next term. It'll be Simon, for certain, and then James or John Perkins as well, although John Perkins doesn't really have time, what with already being a Physics and Philosophy student and in the Cathedral choir, and I don't want James to be the rep because he's a friend of Jon's and part of a group that always ignores me and is nasty to me whenever I hang around with Jon and them.

I now have a tute, so I'll have to stop here.

Au Revoir!

2005-02-28T20:45:00.000+01:00

This is just me trying to see if I can now find this on a google search

2005-01-27T16:20:00.000+01:00

Hey, turns out I don't have to close the blog after all!

I'm still not sure I want to carry on blogging though. I've heard that during the past week or so, there's been a lot of speculation about events and why they happened and these speculations have been not very complimentary to me, nor were they correct.

Goodbye

2005-01-23T13:34:00.000+01:00

Much to my regret, this will be my last ever post in the Duckyblog.

For an explanation of why, ask Richard.

Stage 2

2005-01-11T23:48:00.000+01:00

It is time to move on to Stage 2 of the Project.

Stage 1: Selection of the Victim, is complete.

Stage 2: Prepare Helen for Introduction to the Victim, is about to begin.

For this I intend to get Helen talking to boys (an activity she engages in rarely), so that she can get some practice in before I introduce her to the Victim.

I think I'm just going to start her talking to boys on msn, then move on to real life boys, then finally on to the Victim himself!

By the way, we all have to keep this quiet. The Victim doesn't know who he is yet, and we want to keep it that way. So, shhhh!

2005-01-10T01:40:00.000+01:00

Date My Sister Project 4

2005-01-10T01:37:00.000+01:00

Unfortunately, no pictures exist of the Date My Sister Project 3, the most successful of the projects to date. Oh well.

2005-01-10T00:32:00.000+01:00

Date My Sister Project 2

2005-01-10T00:05:00.000+01:00

Date My Sister Project 1

The Date My Sister Project Progress Report

2005-01-08T22:58:00.001+01:00

We may have a potential candidate to be set up with Helen!

In conversations with various contacts, there is one name that keeps on being put forward as a possible suitor!

However, I'm not going to tell you who it is, because I don't want him to realise that it's him until I have had sufficient time to formulate the next stage of the plan. I'll keep you posted!

The All New "Date My Sister" Project!

2005-01-07T17:46:00.000+01:00

Well, dear readers, it's that time of year again.

I have decided it's time that my little sister Helen had a boyfriend. This is a project I embark on every so often, with variable success. The last project, unfortunately, never came to fruition, so I have decided to abandon it and start a new project.

The last successful Date My Sister project involved a boy called Lawrence. *The following paragraph has been censored by Helen as an embarrassing period in her life which she wants to forget. We apologise for any inconvenience.*

Oh, this is going to be so much fun! I love setting Helen up with people. The only problem is that I have no suitable boys to turn into a boyfriend for Helen, which is where I need your help, dear readers. Please leave your suggestions in the comments below.

Rappin' Richard

2004-12-30T02:31:00.000+01:00

And in this, the last post of the night, I thought I'd include a brilliant link which I've pinched from Megatrobe's blog.

My Boyfriend

New Links!

2004-12-30T02:25:00.000+01:00

In the spirit of Christmas, I thought I'd stick some new people on the side of the page.

Aren't you lucky!

Star Wars

2004-12-30T01:55:00.000+01:00

As you may have guessed from the title, I watched Star Wars today!

Richard came over this afternoon and, rather than deal with the pain and agony of ad breaks interupting the crucial bits of drama,

("I am your father"

*Cheery jingle*
"Buy Pizza Hut! Everybody likes pizza"
*Cheery jingle*

"No... No.... Noooooooooo")

he brought the DVD with him.

I remember the first time I saw Star Wars, my Dad took me to see it when it first came out, then there was the anxious wait for the other episodes, getting the videos for Christmas so I could watch them any time I wanted, and finally the crushing disappointment at Episodes 1 and 2, but that's another story.

So Richard and I watched the DVD, and then, because we clearly hadn't had enough jedi action for one day, we watched The Empire Strikes Back as well. We could have gone for Return of the Jedi and done all three, but we could think of better things to do by that point.

I've already promised to take Richard to see Episode 3 when it comes out in May, and then we can do all 6! in one day! wouldn't that just be sooo cool! Who wants to join me?

The Dinner Party

2004-12-30T01:16:00.000+01:00

Whilst I'm in the blogging mood, I think I will tell you about my birthday dinner party that I hosted a couple of weeks ago.

The day started bright and early with a trip to church, before a last minute dash to Waitrose to pick up some much needed food and wine (although Jon will, no doubt, object to Lambrusco being classed as wine).

Richard arrived around 2, with Jon following shortly afterwards and we engaged in some skillful present wrapping (when I say we, I directed operations from my sofa and used my creative skills to assemble Sophie's present, leaving much of the actual mundane wrapping to Jon and Richard).

Around 5, with my mother starting to panic slightly, we began to cook. I, as head chef, again delegated out tasks to Jon and Richard which they completed with much aplomb. Jon, I must say, is amazing! He chopped and diced all the potatoes like he'd been born to do it, and when I passed him the onions to chop for the main course, he caught them and began to juggle! to juggle! with onions! and all this was whilst solving Christmas cracker puzzles and giving vital advice on where all the cutlery went on the table.

Richard was also very helpful, in a different, but just as important way (see, I haven't forgotten you sweetie).

We whirled through the kitchen, dancing and singing as we prepared the sweetcorn chouder (a soup thickened with potatoes for anyone who's interested) and the tagliatelle with mushroom sauce (a dish that has previously featured on both this blog and Richard's). It was all prepared on time, although the guests did start arriving before I had a chance to get dressed up, and the meal was completed with a minimum amount of fuss and panic. There was one slightly embarrassing moment when I served Jess and empty pot of ice cream, but that was dealt with very smoothly by the wonderful Sophie (who also provided the apple tart for dessert, she's a star!).

After dinner, we retired to the living room for some cheese and port. After Richard, Jess and Chris had left, we dug out the hair gel I'd given Jon for Christmas and styled his hair into a variety of amusing shapes before sitting up late into the night discussing politics. It was a brilliant party!

Oh, and when I woke up the next morning, Jon had done the washing up!

Me? Bitter? Never!

2004-11-30T15:32:00.000+01:00

I spent hours writting you all a lovely long post today, and then blogger went and deleted it just as I'd finished. I have Vectors and Matrices work to do and no time to write another post, so here is my time in Oxford in photo form instead.

2004-11-30T15:25:00.000+01:00

Just in case you had any doubts that I was truely in Oxford. This is what we look like the entire time.

2004-11-30T15:22:00.000+01:00

We had a Halloween party, I was an angel...

2004-11-30T15:18:00.000+01:00

...Richard came to see me...

2004-11-30T15:14:00.000+01:00

...and Jon got drunk, shame you can't read about it in my deleted post.

2004-11-30T15:09:00.000+01:00

I went to an art exhibition! Aren't I cultured! I talked about in my post...

2004-11-30T15:08:00.000+01:00

More art exhibition fun. Statto, the second-year brick merchant, is on the left, but you won't know who he is, because blogger deleted that.

2004-11-30T15:01:00.000+01:00

Jon, complating the bricks we found for bookends. The entire story was in the post, but no, blogger deleted it...

2004-10-23T01:07:00.000+01:00

Today I had my own version of the dud's trips to London!

Except it was a rather more difficult affair seeing as I am now living in a town over 50 miles away. I got up at 7:38 to let in my scout who was banging on the door (and who always seems to arrive 2 minutes before my alarm goes off). Then I went to my 9am lecture, which was very interesting, Complex Numbers and Ordinary Differential Equations. I came back from them, collected my laundry from the machines in which I'd left it washing and drying overnight, took it back to my room and hopped on an Oxford Tube coach to London.

An hour and a half later I was at Victoria coach station. I got the train home then walked up to my house and let myself in, to discover my little sister sitting eating lunch (apparently it's half term). She was a little surprised to see me as well; I had neglected to tell anyone I was coming home. I was at home for roughly 7 minutes whilst I grabbed some non leaky shoes (it's surprising how few of them I seem to have brought with me), and some clean clothes, before legging it down to West Dulwich station to get the train to Kent House. From Kent House I, again, legged it to Clock House and hopped on the train to West Wickham.

On arriving at West Wickham, I wandered down to Richard's house and rang the bell. He opened the door and stood there in shock for several minutes. Clearly he was also expecting me to be in Oxford. I had a lovely day with him before getting the coach back up to Oxford late at night.

Time spent travelling today: 7 hours and 15 minutes
Time spent with Richard: 4 hours and 52 minutes
The look on Richard's face: priceless

Oddyseus had it easy...

2004-10-17T19:51:00.000+01:00

'lo and hideyhey to thee!

As that greeting willl have probably implied, this is not Sarah typuing. In fact, the way that most of this post will be littereted with grammatical and spelling errors will also indicate to you that this is not your good chum Sarah. So, to reiterate:

This is not Sarah!!

Well, with that out of the way, onto the post proper. Oh, it's Richard by the way, the author of the scintillating and oh-so-joyous publication, '50 Ways To Delay Getting To The Point' (or as it's more commonly known, The DickyBlog).

So, Oxford! What a wondrous and happy place it is! Christ Church is a very pretty place, with a nice little lawn outside (which carries a hefty fine if you walk on it. Keep off the grass!) with a fountain in the middle (which also carries a hefty fine if you go swimming in it... I don't know either). Sarah's room is much more spacious that i had first imagined after seeing it on webcam, but those curtains are truly horrendous. So, after meeting Sarah outside Oxford (in sub-fusc. I mean, how swish! That girl has some forced style!) we went to her room, I met a few of her friends, was refused access to some hep and happening bar (thank the Lord), went back to Christ Church, pwned Sarah's 'n00b B-h1\D @ P00l l0l r0xx0r5!' then went to schleepsybyes after she blogged on my blog, and we discussed animal rights with some bloke called Dave (though not the TRUE Dave) .

Aaaaaaaand so much for Sunday

-

Sunday saw us actually doing very little except walking around some shops for a while (far too long in my opinion. Damn customer service...) before I made my excuses and left. This is where the title comes into relevance. I began this blog at 19.51. I got home at 19.42. I got to Bromley South station at 19.36. I left London Victoria at 18.53. I got to London Victoria at 18.14. I left Oxford at... 16.05. That is nearly 4 hours of travelling.

I...am...knackered!!!

So, I will leave the further posting to my dear girlfriend, and leave you to your miserable lives MWHAHAHAHAHAHA ok...

Namaarie!
Fallen Valmar (who also is a chain of american superstores : Val*Mart)

2004-10-15T23:06:00.000+01:00

So, I am in Oxford at long last.

I have been very negligent with posts and I'm afraid this is a short one.

More blogging may ensue tomorrow if my boyfriend doesn't arrive. As yet I have no idea what is happening. It's been nearly 5 hours since I last heard from him so I am now panicking slightly. Especially as he was meant to ring me....

Anyone know where he is?

2004-09-30T23:00:00.000+01:00

Woo!!! I am so popular!!!!

and I only started counting on 17th July, that's only 2 and a half months ago!!!

2004-09-30T13:29:00.000+01:00

Some pictures from Dave's party, here's me and Richard.

2004-09-30T13:28:00.000+01:00

A second picture of me and Richard. I look really awful!!!! but he looks totally gorgeous!!!!!!!

2004-09-30T13:27:00.000+01:00

And another picture of me and Richard. I'm told he looks like a pimp in this one.

2004-09-30T13:25:00.000+01:00

As I said, don't know why people kept shouting "Get a room!"

2004-09-30T13:24:00.000+01:00

and finally a picture of Chris, who says I can't think of anything other than my boyfriend!

Ok, high time I got on with some blogging

2004-09-30T12:49:00.000+01:00

Here is a brief rundown of the past 3 weeks.

That was it. Those observant ones amongst you may realise that it was just a blank space. That is because I have been doing nothing.

I've mainly just been seeing Richard a lot, which of course is not really nothing, but I seriously doubt that any of you want to hear about what I've been getting up to with him. For those who are interested, I'm sure I can refer you to some websites that will give you a basic idea...

It was mine and Richard's one month anniversary last friday! He came round bearing avocados and I got him a lampshade (because lying on your back staring up at a bare bulb is not fun) and two Star Wars posters (to cover up his wallpaper). Richard has also shown me the sights of West Wickham but mainly we just hang around at each other's houses. I pop over after school and sit on his doorstep (braving the stares of all the little rood bois and OAPs who are the only occupants of WW) until he gets home and lets me in. Yesterday whilst I was on the doorstep this lovely woman came and asked me if I was locked out and if I'd like to come and sit in her house until someone got home, it was really kind of her.

A couple of weeks ago I went to 14 plus (church youth group) with Richard, which was fun. That was on Thursday and whilst I was there I got invited to parties on Friday and Saturday! Friday was Chris Greenhouse's leaving party which was brilliant! I made Richard drink wine and dance with me and we teased his friends all evening. Occassionally people would shout "Get a room!" at us, but I have no idea why that was. It finished really late so I slept on Richard's sofa then went home the next morning. We finally completed on the flat on Friday (did I mention that I've bought a flat?) so I went over there on Saturday and spent the day cleaning it in preparation for redecorating it. That evening Jess and Chris and Richard and I all went to Dave's party. I don't actually know Dave, but as I was leaving 14 plus Dave's mum invited me to the party, which was enough of an invitation for me. That party was also great. Richard, by now getting really into the whole drinking alcohol thing, drank both the Smirnoff Ice I'd got for him and most of the one I'd got for me as well. We took lots of pictures and videos with his camera and then, because I wanted to sleep in my own bed that night, we went home.

Last week was spent seeing Richard more and doing some really tricky maths questions that Oxford wanted me to do before I arrived. I finally finished them on Friday before Richard arrived and posted them to my new tutor. This week I've been studying some Open University maths modules that Oxford sent me. They're really interesting! I've mainly been looking at the one on Complex numbers so far (you know, numbers that are partly imaginary, like the solution to x^2 + 3 = 0) but I won't talk about them. I tried to explain it all to Richard and then, in penance, had to listen to the entire workings of x-wing and y-wing fighters and a rundown of the arguments in favour of both, so I have learnt my lesson. I am the only one who finds maths fascinating.

Last weekend I worked on the flat some more. I actually got to do some painting this time!

On Monday Richard and I failed to meet up with Baz for the unsuccessful sheep exchange and on Tuesday Sophie came over so that I could fail to give her the sheep. It was lots of fun, we drew up a big list of all the things I need to take with me for university and I teased Sophie about her irresistableness. On Wednesday I was on Richard's doorstep again and we discussed current affairs and exchanged opinions on them. Today is Thursday and I am going shopping with my dad for university equipment. On Friday I will commence my packing, which will continue over Saturday and Sunday, interupted only by a dinner party on Saturday and church on Sunday. Monday is last minute packing day, and when Richard gets his braces, and our final farewell. Tuesday I leave home, London, all my friends, my family, my beloved boyfriend, everything I've ever known, for a new life as a student in Oxford. Am I scared? Absolutely terrified doesn't even come close.

the Dreamspace

2004-09-19T13:49:00.000+01:00

Ok, so where was I?

On Friday, Sarah, Richard, Helen and I prepared a giant picnic of sausages, pasta, eggs, rice, meatballs and all kinds of other yummy food then packed it all in a picnic hamper with a picnic rug (we don't do things by halves in Dulwich) and mosied on down to the park. We sat in a lovely secluded glade and Sarah and Helen chatted whilst me and Richard were sickeningly couply. It was an absolutely gorgeous experience. Afterwards we went to the Dreamspace which was set up there for a couple of week. We removed our shoes, donned our colourcapes (an irridescent purple one for me, a red one for Richard) and entered the Dreamscape. It was fairly windy outside but the air in the Dreamspace was completely still and all you could hear was the quiet New-Age music. Richard and I wandered round into all the different colours whilst Sarah and Helen floated around pretending to be elves. It was amazing how the different colours made you feel different things (and you don't want to know what some of the colours did to Richard!!). I'm starting to gush about it now. I was quite prepared to laugh at it before, but it was really great, I wish we could have stayed longer.

2004-09-15T23:37:00.000+01:00

the dreamspace

Recent Events (part five)

2004-09-11T18:30:00.000+01:00

On thursday I was back in the library doing more sorting then on Friday it was time for the Dreamspace!

Some of you may well be wondering "What is a Dreamspace" and so here, just for you, is the publicity blurb:

"Maurice Agis' walk-trough [we think they may mean walk-through] sculptures are the result of exploring the relationship between physical space and human beings, through classical principles of art (line, plane, form, scale, colour) and physical phenomena (light, space, air, movement). They are evolving, non finite, ephemeral and public. Agis' visual language maintains continuity and relates all elements to the human presence. Agis has built twelve COLOURSPACE and four DREAMSPACE pieces -they have visited nineteen European cities, and over ninety-five thousand people have visited them-. Each piece has a specific configuration and consists of a certain number of units, identical in shape and size, and made of thin sheets of translucent PVC in red, green, blue, yellow and grey. These units, linked by their oval openings, are inflated by fans. A continuous air flow runs through the sculpture, supporting its structure and maintaining its shape. Natural light penetrates the surface and transmits colour to the internal space. A vast range of intensities, tones and reflections floods the space, the colours move and change throughout the day. Light is transformed into a concrete and abstract spatial reality that inspires a magical fascination in visitors. They walk in and move through the interior, wearing a colour cape and no shoes; they wander from one unit to another, from one colour to another; they move through the space, choosing the place to stop, sit or lay down; they contemplate the relationships produced and they become part of the art piece, interactive elements that are at the same time the object and the subject of the artwork. Agis extends the limits of artistic creation, brings art to people and opens urban spaces to aesthetic experience, to art."

However, I have now blogged so much today that my brain is starting to feel all fuzzy, so I shall leave this post unfinished and come back to tell you about what the Dreamspace actually is, and what we did there, tomorrow.

Recent Events (part 4)

2004-09-11T16:48:00.000+01:00

On Tuesday 7th September I began my new job, as a librarian!

Yes, that's right, I am sorting out the Inner London Probabtion Service Library (where my mother works). It's very relaxing, I'm arranging it according to the Dewey decimal system and also into alphabetical order within that. It being a probabtion service library, it's rather full of books on crime and punishment, but occassionally I stop what I'm doing and read one of the more interesting books. I'm not getting paid for it, which is great as it means I can stop and take a break whenever I want to and do it all at my own pace. Whilst at the library on Tuesday I was informed by Baz that there was a dud trip to the zoo on Wednesday so, after confirming with Richard that it was ok for me to gatecrash this trip as well, I told the library people that I wouldn't be able to make Wednesday and started preparing for the zoo. For those of you who might wonder what such preparation entails, it involves repeated singing and humming of the following song:

Richard's taking me to the zoo tomorrow,
The zoo tomorrow,
Zoo tomorrow
Richard's taking me to the zoo tomorrow,
We're gonna stay all day

We're going to the zoo, zoo, zoo
How about you, you, you
You can come too, too too
We're going to the zoo, zoo, zoo

Wednesday arrived and I was there at Charing Cross at 10:35 (less late than last time!) where I was introduced to still more of the duds before we set off for the zoo. I sang all the way there, although it did get a little difficult to sing after a while, due to Richard's hand clamped over my mouth. We arrived at the zoo and paid the extortionate entry price of £13 (!!!!) before going to see the animals. Details of the animals we saw and pictures of the day can be found at Richard's blog, Baz's blog, Jon's blog, Dave's blog and other Dave's blog. A dud called Rob was also there, but he has no blog. We had lunch by the empty bear's enclosure where Richard accused me of being strange!! "And what were these baseless accusations founded on?", I hear you ask. It was the fact that, instead of purchasing rather revolting vegetarian sandwiches from a station shop, I had instead brought with me for lunch:

1 Avocado pear
1 small, recycled jam pot full of mayonaise
1 sharp knife (with which to cut the avocado)
1 teaspoon (with which to eat the avocado)
2 tangerines
Half a box of Jaffa cakes
1 recycled bottle of water

I see nothing strange about this which, according to Richard, simply makes me more strange. I think I am right in that I am normal and I am sure, dear readers, that you will agree with me. He also seemed to think it was strange that, instead of throwing the remains of the avocado and the orange peel in a bin, I took them home to recycle them on the compost heap. What, may I ask, is wrong with being environmentally aware???

After lunch, I dragged the rest of the duds over to the children's farm part of the zoo and had a fun time visiting the goats and pigs etc. I responsibly washed my hands after visiting the animals but did get rather damp in the process due to the high water pressure in the taps and the fact that the sinks were designed for people about half my height. This led Richard to make some oh so funny jokes about how I was only supposed to wash my hands which, obviously, led to him becoming rather damp as well.

After this we visited the pelicans and other birds and I became aquainted with some lovely statues, which you can see here. All through the day Richard kept telling me to move this way and that so he could take photos of me and I had no idea what he was doing until he showed me the picture later. In that one he was getting it looking like the bird was feeding me, and in this one, well, the less said about that....

Anyway, as we went through the bird house I started on a new song:

Why do bird suddenly appear,
Every time you are near?
Just like me,
they want to be
Close to you

Or at least, I sang it as best as I could with the aforementioned hand over my mouth. I don't know why Richard doesn't like my singing....

Then it was on to, past the kangaroos...

(Tie me kangaroo down, sport
Tie me kangaroo down...)

...to the reptile house. Where we saw, amongst other reptiles, a crocodile!

Oh you never smile at a crocodile,
No you can't get friendly with a crocodile,
Don't be taken in by his welcome grin,
He's just opening his mouth so he can fit you in

We didn't see any komodo dragons though, they were all hiding (or taking part in a plot to take over the world, depending on who you talk to).

After visiting the insects, the duds left the zoo leaving Richard and I behind. As we ambled along to Camden Town tube station wondering where they were, Rob phoned Richard. He, thinking that this was going to be someone telling us where they were, answered it, only to find that it was, in fact, someone yelling "cock" down the phone to him. (I should point out at this point that, all through the day, Rob had been phoning up all the dud's to yell "cock" when they answered, and Richard had now fallen victim to this.) Richard called the dud's back and assertained that they were also on their way to the tube station a little way ahead of us. At this point, Richard's phone rang again and, seeing that Baz was calling, I answered the phone in my very sweetest voice. The conversation went a little like this:

Me: Hello?

Baz: Ah, um, hello again

Other duds in background: muffled laughter, occassional shouts of "cock"

Baz: confused mutterings

Baz hangs up

It was all very amusing. After the zoo we went to Hamleys and spent a short time there before the rest of the duds went home. Richard and I went to Victoria station instead and had dinner (I had some yummy noodles from Singapore Sam's, they're are sooo nice) and Richard again told me that I was strange because I sang along to the background music (!!!). Who, may I ask, does not do that?

Anyway, after dinner, we went again to the Globe, this time to see Much Ado About Nothing which, I must say, is a much better play than Measure for Measure. I had another yummy cheese and chutney sandwich and we drove Richard home at the end of the evening.

Recent Events (part three)

2004-09-11T16:44:00.000+01:00

Saturday the 4th of September I spent bemoaning my lack of school and having long phone conversations with Richard, which cheered me up considerably. On Sunday I had a wonderful day at home with my family clearing up the garden and pinching fruit from my neighbour's garden using ingenious methods.

On Monday I went round to Richard's house where I was introduced to his previous girlfriend, his PS2. Chris cooked us a delightful lunch and Richard's dad cooked us an equally delightful dinner. I also got to meet Richard's little friend Ed. More photos were taken, which I shall now show to you privileged people! As you can see, we were in a very arty, black and white mood on this occassion.

2004-09-11T16:42:00.000+01:00

Me pretending to be asleep. Don't I look cute!

2004-09-11T16:41:00.000+01:00

It's me! With a halo!

2004-09-11T16:40:00.000+01:00

See! Isn't he gorgeous!!!

Recent Events (continued)

2004-09-11T16:28:00.000+01:00

On Friday 3rd September, Helen came over in her free afternoon and together we cooked up the delightful mushroom pasta dish that Richard previously described on his blog. This is, in fact, the second time we have cooked it and I feel that now would be a good time to show you the photos of us cooking from last time.

We then wandered on down to Dulwich Park where we began planning the events of the next friday, which I will come to blog about in due course.

2004-09-11T16:26:00.000+01:00

The ingredients. May I point out at this stage that we didn't actually have the recipe, only the list of ingredients and what cooking instructions we could pick up from Richard's blog.

2004-09-11T16:25:00.000+01:00

Me frying the ingredients. All meals can be improved by selective frying.

2004-09-11T16:24:00.000+01:00

Helen stirring our delicious sauce.

2004-09-11T16:22:00.000+01:00

The pasta and sauce bubbling away

2004-09-11T16:20:00.000+01:00

The finished meal, and yummy it was too.

Recent Events

2004-09-11T16:06:00.000+01:00

I returned from Wales on Monday 30th August and have been hopelessly bad at blogging since then, leading me to get very behind on recent events. So for your enjoyment, dear readers, here is an account of my activities from then until the present day.

On Tuesday 31st August Richard came round. This was actually the first time we'd ever seen each other whilst being a couple as during the whole of the times we've been going out before, I've been in a different country. We went to the post office where I collected a letter for my sister and, on our way home, I showed Richard the sights of Dulwich and demonstrated why I never want to live there. I would tell you more about our day, but we spent the whole time being so sickeningly coupley that I'm sure you don't want to hear about it.

On Wednesday I did nothing and by the evening was thoroughly bored. I was really not looking forward to Thursday when Helen would go back to school and I would be at home alone all day so when Baz mentioned an upcoming dud trip to London the next day during which he would be beating up Richard, I immediately (under the guize of protecting Richard from the violence of Baz) invited myself along.

The next morning I turned up at Charing Cross (slightly late, I still haven't got the hang of showing up on time yet) to meet the rest of the duds and set out to explore London. This has already been written about extensively by those duds present (click here for Baz's account, Richard's account, Jon's account, and Dave's account) so I shall keep my tale brief. We wandered round for a bit through many different countries and watched a bloke on a large unicycle before finding a Pret a Manger for lunch. I had terrible trouble deciding between Vegetarian sushi and an Avocado wrap so eventually I went for both and ate half for lunch and munched happily on the remainder for the rest of the day. Normally I wouldn't be so extravagant with meals but I had, unfortunately, forgotten to bring any money with me for lunch so Richard, being the excellant boyfriend that he is, paid for me (and bought me a toblerone later, isn't he great!).

After lunch (and going in the wrong direction a few times due to a slight lack of a map) we arrived at the Monument and proceed to climb it. I was given the impression before we went in that there would be a lift to take us to the top so I was rather surprised that, having paid my £2 to the lady at the ticket barrier, I was confronted with a spiral staircase and no lift in sight. None the less, I set out for the top and soon overtook Richard and Baz to arrive, 311 steps later, at the viewing platform feeling as if my lungs were about to collapse at any moment. After 5 minutes leaning against the wall occasionally downing bottles of water, I felt able to move again and admired the view across London. I also had great fun teasing my vertigo suffering boyfriend by sticking my feet out through the railings and waving them around over 202 feet drop. I got Richard and Baz to give me a leg up as well so that I could stick my head through the railings at the top and get a better view.

After 45 minutes studying the graffitti and the view we descended the steps with both Richard and I counting them on the way down. We arrived at the bottom a little while after everyone else having stopped a couple of time to *ahem* compare numbers. I do feel compelled to mention that I had to correct Richard's counting a few times on the way down and that, despite my best efforts, whilst I counted the correct number of steps, he was 15 steps out. Not that that would have anything to do with the U he got in his maths GCSE, of course.

We then headed to Trafalgar Square where I, being somewhat short of stature, needed Baz's help to get up onto the lion where we sat and posed for all the various strangers who took pictures of us. Then the rest of the duds went back to Charing Cross and back to the various parts of the middle of nowhere where they all live. Richard and I went on to Reagent's park where we sat under a tree for a couple of hours until it was time for us to head to the Globe to see Measure for Measure. I had been informed that this trip was just to be Richard, myself, and my mother, so it was somewhat of a shock to arrive to find not only my mother, but both my sisters and my mother's friend standing outside the theatre, causing Richard to have some mild heart palpitations. The play was good, but not one of Shakespeare's best, it had several inconsistancies in characterisation. The Globe sells really yummy cheese and chutney sandwiches though. Afterwards we took Richard home to the middle of nowhere.

2004-09-11T16:05:00.000+01:00

Richard and I underneath our tree in Reagent's park. Isn't he gorgeous!!

Finally, the last installment of the Shepton Mallet Saga

2004-09-07T10:37:00.000+01:00

So where was I? Oh yes

Day 4 - Results day

After 6 hours travelling (by taxi, coach, tube, car and foot) I finally arrived at school an hour and a half after my predicted ETA. Everyone had already been and gone apart from my beloved Sophie who waited and waited, keeping the school updated on my progress ("She's in Bristol... Victoria... Brixton... Just around the corner"). Anyway, I arrived and walked into the school office to be met by grinning teachers and the school photographer who, if I didn't mind, was going to take a picture of me with my results. At this point I gathered that I had probably done fairly well and I opened my results to see that I had, in fact, done as follows:

Biology - A
Chemistry - A
Physics - A
Maths - A
Politics - A

Which was fine with me. It was what I expected to get and would have to have done really badly not to get so my results weren't about whether I'd done well or badly, they were just whether I'd completely failed or done ok. I was pleased with my physics results, not terribly happy about my politics ones and I probably could have done a bit better in all my subjects. I think the photographer was a little dissappointed at my lack of crying and screaming, the only comment I actually made about my results was "oh rats! I got a B in one of my biology modules". It's all over now though, I am in to Oxford and very pleased about it.

After the results we took Sophie back to my house where we had Sarah and Sarah over for some celebratory pizza and ice cream and I phoned up everyone to compare results, then it was back to Shepton Mallet.

6 hours later I finally got back and was met by Richard, to whom I communicated the good news, before going for a celebratory cup of hot chocolate at his parents' tent (Thank you Ian and Jane) and then bed. Oh what a wild life I lead!

Day 5 - Friday

Today I was pursuaded to go to the last 10 minutes of a Tim Hughes seminar before having a nice chat about sex and masturbation in one of the cafes.

That evening (after an emotional last service) we all went and boogied in chasers then stayed up really late in the chillout tent until I was carried to bed by Mark and Chris Greenhouse (awww).

On saturday we packed up and went home and I'VE DONE IT!!!!! I'VE FINALLY FINISHED SOUL SURVIVOR!!!!!!!

The next week I started going out with Richard again (on Tuesday 24th August), then went to Wales for a week and used up all my credit calling Richard and now I can start on the events of the past week.

Soul Survivor (continued)

2004-09-03T13:25:00.000+01:00

So, to resume with my tale of Shepton Mallet....

Day 3 - wednesday

I remained good to my promise and today marched Richard down to the marketplace where I bought him his very own hoodie! It was a rather fetching khaki Delirious number and he looks dashing in it! You can see him here and here in pictures that I've stolen from Megatrobe's blog. Sorry about that Jon, do you mind?

That evening we had a service in which the holy spirit was called down and so there were people crying and screaming and being slain in the spirit and I found it all a little frightening. There was this boy lying on the ground next to me and me, being the tender hearted person I am, tapped him on the shoulder and said "are you alright?"

And that was how I met Bunny-ears Josh (so named because he wore a set of bunny ears, bet you couldn't see that one coming!). Anyway, we sat talking to each other for the rest of the evening, and I behaved stupidly and was very mean to Richard (which I am deeply sorry for). At the end of the evening he kissed me and it was horrible! so I got rid of him as quickly as I could and went to find Richard.

I grovelled profusely and Richard and I spent the next couple of hours *ahem* talking until I realised that it was now gone 2am and I had to get up at 6 to go back to London and get my results. I crawled into my tent but couldn't sleep due to the freezing temperatures and nerves. I probably dropped off about half 3 then was woken up at 6 by my alarm and stumbled out of my tent to...

Day 4 - thursday

Results day! Da Da Daaaaa..... to be continued.

2004-09-01T13:52:00.000+01:00

and a lovely group photo of us all to finish. Richard looks evil, Chris looks rather foolish, and, as for me, I look radiant as always!

2004-09-01T13:50:00.000+01:00

Chris, having "sorted out" his hair (it looks so much better now dearie)

2004-09-01T13:48:00.000+01:00

Chris embraces the rude boi lifestyle

2004-09-01T13:47:00.000+01:00

aww, don't they look cute together

2004-09-01T13:44:00.000+01:00

I realise I look a little chubby in this picture, but I'm wearing 5 layers of clothes ok! and most of them are way too big for me!

So, what have I been up to?

2004-08-30T21:42:00.000+01:00

Fear not, dear readers! No calamity has befallen me, no sudden tragedy has put an untimely end to my blogging career, I have simply been on holiday, and now I am back.

I won't go on about the rest of my holiday in Spain cause, quite frankly, it was so long ago I can barely remember it. I met some dutch boys, there was an unfortunate vodka and orange night which ended up with me making very good friends with a toilet bowl (an experience I hope never to repeat, alcohol only in moderation for me) and then I came home.

Then it was time for Soul Survivor. In the days before it I was very busy learning how to put up tents and reassuring an anxious Vicky that all would be fine. It wasn't until Vicky phoned me to ask some final questions the evening before we left that I realised I'd forgotten one rather vital thing: food. One quick trip to the Co-op later we were stocked up on pasta and various sauces and ready to go.

(You may note that I've left out several details in the days before Soul Survivor, namely the conversations I had with Richard. In the first one I was terrified by his friends who kept asking if Richard was a good kisser. In the second one I broke up with him, for stupid reasons which sophie immediately told me off about when she heard and she was quite right.)

Anyway, so we set off for Soul Survivor. We arrived a day early and got in by driving up to the bloke on the gate and sort of giving the impression that we were on the staff. The conversation went a little like this:

US: Hello, we're just here to drop some stuff off for tomorrow.

(which was true!! we were planning on just dropping our stuff off at Richard's pitch then finding some bed and breakfast to stay in for the night!)

HIM: Ah, are you on a team?

(by this he meant the stewarding team, or the enabling team, or something similar)

US: um, yes

(it is an automatic reaction of mine to agree to anything, before I even realise what I've been asked. I did not intend to lie.)

HIM: ok then, just go up to that green tent and register, I'll phone ahead to let them know you've arrived.

At this point we drove into the camp, carefully avoiding the green tent and instead making our way to green 5 where Richard was camped.

Helen and I put our tents up then joined Richard and his friends for a nice sing-song before attempting to cook on our tiny gas stove. The pasta stuck to the pan and the sauce was horrible before we smothered it with cheese, but it was not so bad, and we got hot chocolate of Ian and Jane (Richard's parents) afterwards.

Day 1 - monday (yes, I'm stealing Richard's format, but I've stolen most of his other stuff already so I don't expect he'll mind)

It rained. We moved the tents from green 5 to red 4 (in the rain) and were forced to shelter in one when the downpour became torrential. It's amazing how, if the circumstances require it, you can fit 4 people in a 1 man tent. We had to break the rule about no mixed tent sharing though, so if the Soul Survivor organisers ask you, it never happened.
The rest of the day I spent having a really nice shower (for 40 minutes), then dried my hair (another hour). Some people may think that this is a little too long to spend on grooming but, at this point, it was a thing that really needed to be done.

Day 2 - tuesday

I went to my first seminar today. It was called Practical Holiness but I think the trade descriptions act may have a little something to say about that title. I listened for half an hour or so to this bloke telling me to follow the straight road of holiness and not fall into either of the ditches of lawlessness or legality before I lay down to listen to him with my eyes closed and promptly fell asleep. I awoke to here him saying "well, that's all we have time for" and joined in with all the clapping, pretending that obviously I'd been listening to every word and found it fascinating.

In the evening I finally snapped after seeing Richard in his hideous Slazenger top one time too many (and quite frankly, once is one time too many) and decided that he NEEDED some new clothes. I said this to Richard and Andrew (being the selfless person that he is) immediately offered his spare hoodie to Richard to fill the void before Richard could procure himself a hoodie of his own. It was bloomin' hard getting Richard into that hoodie, I tell you. First there was the whining ("but I'll look like a rude boi"), then there was the general unwillingness to co-operate in any way when we put the hoodie on him, and finally there was the sulking once we had the hoodie on (Richard was actually a pretty good sport during all of this considering what Andy and I were putting him through, we'd never have got it on him if he'd really objected).
I was having some slight clothing issues myself at this point. Andy (who I probably should have told you is a member of Richard's youth group) kept throwing me down in the mud which require complicated contortions to prevent my skirt (a fetching cream Ra-ra number) getting thoroughly dirty. There was also a rather strong wind, and it being a Ra-ra skirt... but we won't go in to that.
Anyway, Richard, Andy and I, all hoodied up (we even got baseball caps for Andy and Richard) all traipsed down to the market place to browse the hoodies there. We got Richard to try on loads and eventually I took pity on him and his little sulky face and left it till the next day to actually purchase one for him.

The rest of the evening we spent in Chasers. For those of you who don't know, it's the coolest place ever! It's a disco in a tent! They even have a glitter ball! Chris Greenhouse (who I am so going to marry, I mean, come on! Greenhouse and Browncross, we can combine our surnames and become Sarah and Chris Greenybrownhousecross!!! You know it makes sense) [if Chris ever finds this and reads it, he may protest and insist that his surname is actually Greenhalgh. Do not listen to him! We all know that Greenhouse is a much better surname, don't we!] Nick, Mark (all members of Richard's youth group) and I all went down there to boogie the night away. We were shortly joined by Richard who did not so much boogie as stand around and hold all the layers of clothing that we discarded due to the intense heat. Most of them were mine as at this point I was wearing my original skirt, top and jumper, plus Richard's Slazenger top and Andy's hoodie and baseball cap. As you can imagine, I quickly overheated. The baseball cap, when I eventually took it off, travelled around the circle a couple of times before eventually coming to rest on the head of my future husband. Chris took great delight in wearing it backwards (he said it was to conceal his bad hair, yeah, like we believe that!) and we immediately pounced on him, styling his hair upwards to come out in a little quiff through the back of the baseball cap. He wasn't so keen on this new hair (can't think why) and tried to fix it. We couldn't let this happen, so Richard and I took hold of his arms and marched him back to green 5 to get a picture of this epitome of hair styling. We got to green 5 only to discover that Richard's camera was out of battery so we took hold of Chris again and marched him to red 4 where I got my camera out and got snapping away... [results in the next post]

Yet Another Spanish Blog

2004-08-04T10:51:00.000+01:00

Hello everyone, from a comfortable office chair in the South East of England. "What? But Sarah's in Spain!" I hear you holler. Well, you are correct, Sarah is in Spain. I however am not. By a bizarre mix of threats, insults and 'a look that is impossible to refuse', she has managed to hire the services of the me to write this blog. The me being Dickybod/Richard/'chard/whatever else you want to call me. By the great medium of MSN Messenger, Sarah is telling me about her day, and based on what she tells me, I am writing here. Yup, i could just copy and paste it, but I think I'd best put a little effort into this, or I may have some very thoroughly kicked shins at a later date...

-

So, where to start?

anyway, i went to the nudist beach yesterday

That'll do. Ok, so from what i can gather from the conversation I'm having, Sarah went to a beach where the novelty value was found in the total lack of clothing on most of the patrons. A place where, true to form, lack of clothing (as a necessity) was experienced by the author of this blog and her friends (well, the female ones at least. As you probably read in the last post, they disallowed the inclusion of their male companion into this nude excursion).

Jeez, cheers Sarah. How can you be tasteful and tactful when talking about large amounts of people with no clothes on. MALE AUTHOR!!!!

Well, anyway. With clothes removed (stay focused...) Sarah and her chums enjoyed a slight swim, before attempting to avoid the gaze of the obligatory teenage boys peering over the fence at all the naked people.

At this point she says that this proabaly isn't suitable material for her blog, and I rather agree, but since she has been offline for the last 20 minutes in her quest to gather more time on the internet, in order to tell me more suitable things to type, this is all I have, so I'm going to type it.

So what did Sarah learn from her day on the beach?

Strutting around starkers can be very liberating
LOTS of suncream needed. I don't want to imagine what the consequences would be...
Naked men are much less attractive than naked women (her words, I hasten to add)

Well, seeing as she isn't back yet, I may just have to post this without her approval, allowing the words above to be a possible slur on her character from the cynical author she requested to write them. It also mean this focuses to much on the nudity, and I'm sure that wasn't all she did.#

Ok! She's back, after some young rapscallion (yes, i really do use words like that) stole her computer. Ok, now for some more tasteful topics!

They put there clothes back on, and went back to the clothed beach, then hung around the capsite for a bit, when the author read some of MY copy of Stupid White Men, then dinner at the camp restaurant, where Sarah (different other) and Theo abondoned Sarah (author Sarah), Hannah and Stephanie at a table. At this point the started telling the waiters that non-author Sarah fancied the fat one who served the chips ('Chip-Boy', who looked like another waiter who was then christened 'Chip-Boy-Bro'). Hannah spent the evening attempting to convince author Sarah it would be interesting to wave and blow kisses at chip-boy-bro, only to have the effect of half the restaurant staff thinking they were mad, and the other half thinking they fancied them.

Slow down Sarah I can't type this fast!!!

They then 'mosied' down to the beach where Hannah got very drunk with some French lads, while the rest chatted to some dutch boys who are apparantly going to take them to some rock tomorrow and show them the view. They also plan to flirt with a person who works in some shop (if your that person, run, run away NOW), though Sarah tells me she wont be doing any actual flirting, just asstisting the others. That's author Sarah, not non-author Sarah.

Oh, and we're back on the naked issue. I think I should just publish this post...

Hopefully Sarah should be back with her normal blend of sanity and slightly more coherent writing style.

Richard xxx

PS. If you found this post humorous, while finding the tremendously bad set out and spelling tremendously endearing, pop over to my own blog! It's full of witty and cynical posts such as these! End Advertising.

El Blog d'España (part four)

2004-08-03T10:23:00.000+01:00

Hola!

Today, dear readers, I am off to the nudist beach. We have forbidden Theo from coming with us (none of us really want to see him naked) and we are departing after lunch.

Yesterday was loads of fun. I'm settling into a routine now. I get up, put on my breakfast outfit of the day and have breakfast. I then wander down to the washrooms and on to the reception where I purchase my hour long internet session. I spend a pleasant hour talking to Richard before changing into my bikini and pool outfit and spending most of the day lounging by the swimming pool, occasionally playing cards. In the evenings I have a shower, change into my evening outfit, and we all head down to the beach to spend the evening talking to foreign people. Fun, fun, fun.

El blog d'España (part three)

2004-08-02T10:31:00.000+01:00

No blog today I'm afraid dear readers.

I'm not feeling so good due to some licor de meloncoton last night and I've been talking to Richard the whole time.

Lo siento

El Blog d'España (part two)

2004-08-01T10:17:00.000+01:00

Hola!

I am starting to get the hang of all these hills. The trick is to combine more than one activity at the same time, so when I go down to do the washing up, I take a towel and have a shower at the same time etc. I am going on to the pool after this so I am sitting here blogging in my brand new bikini. I finally got tired of feeling overdressed in my modest swimsuit so I have conformed to peer pressure and bought myself my very own itsy bitsy teeny weeny green marble effect bikini. It consists of four triangles of material cunningly attached to each other with bits of string and yet I am still wearing more than most of the Spanish girls. Most of them seem to be so poor that they can only afford three triangles. I now plan to wear my bikini almost constantly and use it to lure in all the cute Spanish boys with! (Only joking, Richard, I haven't looked at a single Spanish boy since I arrived, I couldn't even if I wanted to; my sunglasses are so dark that I can't see anything more than a foot away).

I have been meeting some French boys though. Last night and the night before we have all gone down to the beach and hung out with some French boys who seems to spend their entire lives sitting on the beach, blazing (hence Hannah's cunning nickname for them, the Blazin' Squad). I have been acting as translator due to my GCSE French, but it's amazing how much of a language comes back to you once you start to speak it! I could understand almost everything they said, and communicate with them pretty well. Apparently, once you stop learning a language, you forget 90% of it within the first couple of months, but the rest of it will stay with you for up to 30 years. We're not going back tonight though, we ran out of things to say.

Everyone else went to a restaurant for dinner last night, unfortunately I could not as the only vegetarian things on the menu were the salad and the bread. Yummy. Last night was fun though. Sarah and I stayed up talking about various people and situations until gone 2am. It's ages since we've been able to have a good ol' chinwag so it was really nice.

Hannah and Theo entertained me yesterday by trying to teach me the Essex lingo. I've been picking it up quite well. Here is my holiday is Essex speak:

Wot goanye? I is bin coching an linking wit ma links so as to not get banged by scary little English kids. Tis bate all nang.

I considered attempting to teach them what I knew of 1337 but decided against it. I do have some sort of cool facade to maintain.

Anyway, why was Michelle evicted? I couldn't believe it when I found out, I thought she was really popular! Did she suddenly become horrible after I left? Why wasn't Jason evicted? These are important questions that need to be addressed. Answers in the comments please.

My mother, noticing that I was clearly pining for something, found a picture of Boris Johnson in her paper and cut it out and placed it on my pillow. But now Richard has come online so I must depart.

Adieu

El Blog d´Éspaña (part one)

2004-07-31T10:24:00.000+01:00

Hola dear readers!

Here I am in Spain! Oh, it's so exciting. Hannah (who is currently peering over my shoulder) says hi. I am currently camping here at Camping del Masset with my friend Sarah, her little sister Hannah (and their parents) and our friend Theo (and his parents). My little sister Helen sadly could not join us as she is off doing good works in Romania, but Stephanie and my mother are here as well.

I'd forgotten what camping was like before I arrived. It's been 3 years since I last went on a camping holiday with these people and yet nothing has changed. We go to the swimming pool and splash around in the water, we wander down to the beach, we hang out at our tents and play cards; it's fun, but I'm definately missing something. I can't work out whether it's Helen, Richard, all my friends, cool weather, or just home.

Speaking of cool weather, it's sooo hot here. Our tent is made of dark material so it gets sweltering inside during the day. You pop in to pick up a hairbrush or something and emerge 10 seconds later bright red, gasping for breath, and sweating like a pig. As if that's not enough, the whole campsite is built on a series of hills; forget the seven hills of Rome, they were mere molehills compared to these mountains. To get to our tent from the beach you have to climb no fewer than FOUR hills! This morning I got out of bed, walked down two hills to go to the shop to buy bread, discovered I didn't need to buy bread, walked back up the two hills, had breakfast, walked down the two hills to the washrooms, walked back up to the tent to get money for the internet, walked down to the internet place, discovered I didn't have the right money, walked back up to the tent, came down again with the right money, and started blogging to you people. I really hope you appreciate this effort!!! If you were counting during that, you will find that already this morning I have climbed 8 hills and it's only 11:40. By the end of this holiday, not only will I be tanned but toned as well by all this excercise.

I see now that Richard has finally recovered from his tonsillitus and departed for wherever it is he is off to. If anyone wishes to talk to me, I will probably be online at some point between 10 and 12 (English time - we're an hour ahead) the day after tomorrow, that'll be the 2nd august.

So, what else has been happening since I last blogged? I hear you cry.

Helen and I had a fun day out at the park on monday, going boating and suchlike with Colin and Rohan. Tuesday: I spent all day packing; realising as the evening wore on that I lacked such essentials as a bikini and all the shops were now shut. I'm still attempting to locate one here in Begur. Wednesday: I said farewell to a rather sleepy Richard (over the phone!!! for those of you who do not have such pure minds as I), caught the plane to Spain (where the rain falls mainly on the plain! Oh, I'm so easily amused) and did a little sightseeing in Barcelona (such a beautiful horizon, Barcelona...), including some attepted posing on the lions by Columbus's column which didn't work too well due to the dress and high heeled sandals I was in. Thursday was more sightseeing and lion related posing before we drove to the campsite. Friday we hung out at the campsite having fun, and today I am blogging to you! But now I have run out of time, so goodbye dear readers, until next time.

Adieu

2004-07-24T17:11:00.000+01:00

Barcelona here I come!

2004-07-24T17:00:00.002+01:00

I'm off on holiday. I shall return in two weeks. I will, of course, miss you all dreadfully. But, until I return,

Adieu, dear readers, adieu!

Photo

2004-07-24T17:00:00.001+01:00

Had to stick that up here so that I could finally get a picture on my profile. Gosh, I do seem to be doing a lot of blogs today.

You're trapped in a well with a goat and a slinky. Describe how you will escape.

2004-07-24T17:00:00.000+01:00

I decided to change my random question and this is the one I got. However, after 20 minutes of thinking up and composing a plausible and practical escape method, blogger now tells me that I can only write 150 characters. Grrr. Here's the answer that I came up with. I shall have to go and ask blogger for a new random question.

I'm assuming that this is an empty well and a live goat.

First I will uncurl the slinky so that I have a length of wire. I will then tie the end of the slinky to one of my shoes and throw it up so that it hooks around the bar that I'm assuming is at the top of the well. I will then untie the shoe and make a harness out of one end of the slinky wire for the goat. I will break small portions of wire off the other end of the slinky and embed them in the soles of my shoes to create spikes to help me grip the wall of the well better. I will also make hand spikes for me to hold out of wire.

All my preparations now complete, I will hoist the goat (in its wire harness) up to the top of the well. I will then attach the slinky wire to myself and, using the goat as a ballast, begin to climb the walls of the well. The goat will gradually be lowered as I climb and will take some of my weight, making it easier for me to climb. It also means that, if I slip and fall, I will fall at a slower speed as the goat will go upwards as I go downwards and so I will reduce the chances of me injuring myself. When I reach the top of the well I will climb out, pull the goat up by the wire, set it free, then set out for civilisation.

Wow

2004-07-24T11:48:00.000+01:00

Woo! I checked this blog last night to find I had 270 hits, I looked again this morning to discover 377 hits! I can't believe there are so many people reading this thing. Really, I actually can't believe it. Is someone out there just constantly refreshing this page?

So Richard came over on thursday (sorry for stealing him away from the dud-a-thon, guys) and I took him shopping with me and tried on dozens of clothes before deciding to buy 3 skirts, while he amused himself by buying and reading a cookery book. I then attempted to use the cookery book to cook lunch and, for a really easy cookery book, it wasn't that easy.

First the recipe called for milk. All the milk in the fridge had gone off, so Richard and I went on a short expedition round to the shop to buy some. I had decided to try eggy bread, so i mixed the milk and eggs together and was about to soak the bread in it when it turned out that the only bread we had was frozen. I tried defrosting the bread in the toaster, but it didn't turn out quite as I'd hoped and instead I ended up with several slices of toast. I started soaking the toast, hoping it would really matter, but having started the first slice of toast soaking I ran into more problems. There were 3 of us so the recipe called for 6 slices of bread; it also said to soak each piece of bread for 20 minutes but, unfortunately, I could only fit one piece at a time into the egg mixture which caused a slight dilemma. Eventually I soaked the first piece of bread for 5 minutes or so, then cooked it whilst soaking the second piece and so on. It seemed to work ok, but then I ran out of egg after 3 slices. There was plenty to go round though because, once again, Richard refused to eat anything.

After lunch we retired upstairs where I forced Richard to listen to all the really catchy songs in my music collection such as Ricky Martin - Livin' La Vida Loca, Shakira - Whenever, Wherever and so on until he couldn't take anymore at which point we switched to Virgin radio and spent a pleasant afternoon listening to music and giggling at the ridiculous adverts.

Yesterday I went shopping again to find some shorts for Helen to take to Romania with her and then went to church for the youth service practice. Only me, Rachel and Ben turned up and after a while we ran out of things to plan (and Ben kept laughing at my hat) so I came home. Well, I attempted to. I actually got on the non-stop Victoria train rather than my usual stopping Victoria and ended up in - you've guessed it - Victoria. So I went and bought some noodles at the lovely Singapore Sam's in Victoria Place, then happened to see some people I know wandering around the station so I went to the pub with them. I seem to end up in a lot of pubs at the moment...

Richard

2004-07-22T13:28:00.000+01:00

Hello readers!

I thought I might as well blog. Richard was meant to be coming over today, but so far he is an hour and a half late (!!!!) and the only communication I have had from him was a text that said:

Hello. On me way. Where do you live?

I feel compelled to point out that at this point he was nearly an hour late, but did I get any sort of apology? no

He has now arrived and is sitting opposite me whilst I finish this post so I suppose I should stop now and entertain him. But I am not happy!!!

The Ponytail

2004-07-20T23:15:00.000+01:00

I have now realised that, having posted a photo of the ponytail, I failed to explain the significance of it. The ponytail was a device employed by me today in an attempt to look more strict and authoritative than yesterday in the hope that I might command more respect and therefore get the kids to do vaguely what I wanted them to. It was effective, in a way, I ended today much more cheerfully than I did yesterday.

Busy busy me

2004-07-20T18:57:00.000+01:00

Yesterday and today I have been working. Until term ended I worked at JASSPA (James Allen's Saturday School for the Performing Arts) every saturday (7:30 - 3, not good hours) and these couple of days I've been helping at their summer clubs. Mainly I've been doing administration, checking and updating computer databases until my fingers ache and my eyes have gone blurry, except when the kids have been on their break and I've been trying to control 17 unruly 7 to 12 year olds.

Yesterday was absolutely horrible, to give you a taste of it, the lunch break was as follows:

First I supervised the children whilst they ate lunch. 4 of them had wandered off behind some portakabins where I couldn't see them so, after wandering round for a bit trying to locate them I finally found them and ushered them back to the playground. I returned to my seat to find that some 7 year olds had stolen my lunch. After a lot of giggling, I got it back and managed to eat some of it before it was time to play rounders with them. It took me 5 minutes to actually find the rounders equipment in the sports cupboard, after which i emerged to find the children scattered all over the school. I rounded them up and ushered them down to the sports field. 4 of them wanted to go and pick berries at the end of the field but they couldn't because there was a sports day down there; they wouldn't accept this and tried to run off there anyway and then sulked and refused to play rounders. I divided the children into teams only to find that somehow one team had 9 children and the other 4. I divided them again, but with great difficulty because some of them refused to be physically separated from their friends, hence the previous unevenness of the teams. I started half of the fielding and half batting, then noticed that the 4 who wouldn't play (who i'd told to sit quietly) were playing in the long jump pit. I went and yelled at them and sat them back down then went back to umpiring the game and sorting out the disputes that had arisen in my absense. Eventually I had to be the bowler as well because none of the kids could do it at all well and we managed to get an ok game going in the end. The kids weren't happy though. They complained that the equipment wasn't good enough, they complained about the snacks we gave them, they wouldn't put on their shoes to go outside, they spilt juice everywhere...

I'm not sure I like children anymore.

2004-07-20T18:56:00.000+01:00

the ponytail

Gosh

2004-07-20T18:03:00.000+01:00

So I set up my web counter 4 days ago and already I have had 118 hits! It gives me some information about everything as well, and it tells me that I have had 55 people visiting me! I had no idea that people read my blog, to be honest I thought it was probably Richard, Chris and occasionally Helen and Jess but there's all these people from America reading it. I don't know anyone in America! There's even been people from Iraq and China! Amazing!