A Post About Richard

Since Richard's lovely post about me (well, partially about me, mainly a long, long post about final fantasy), he has been nagging me to return the favour, so here it is!


10 fasinating facts about Richard (Part 1 of 2 'cause I have to go to bed)

1. Before meeting me, Richard had never kissed a girl. Or spoken to a girl. Or been in a girl's presence without disintigrating into a quivering wreck. That's right, it's all thanks to me and my wonderful influence that Richard is the handsome and confident individual he is today. Don't all rush to thank me at once.

2. It was my fault that Richard ended up with long hair. He went to get it cut a couple of months after we met and came out looking like a monk having completely failed to tell the hairdresser to stop. I made him promise never to get his hair cut again and he took me at my word and completely refused to get it cut for OVER 2 YEARS!!!

3. Richard has been meaning to get a job ever since I have known him. He is still unemployed.

4. Richard has recently been lifting weights and now has enormous biceps. You should give them a feel next time you see him. Seriously.

5. Richard is a man of many names. When we first met he went by the moniker of Dickybod. In a bid to come up with a different name that I could call him, I asked Jess for advice and she mentioned this really arrogant Richard she knew who insisted everyone call him 'Chard. I immediately began teasing Richard by calling him this, much to his chagrin, until finally he decided he liked it and now look at him! And does he give me any credit for it? Does he?

To be continued...

Blog-B-Q III

Blog-B-Q III is on its way!

It will be held at my house in the late afternoon/early evening of the 7th July and may well branch into a party.

I am off to Venice tomorrow evening, and return next thursday, so most of the organising will be done by my capable sister, Helen.

Invitiations will be sent out to all those invited in due course. Much as I would like to invite the whole internet, space in my back garden means that admission is by invitation only (and there will be a bouncer on the door to check, of course). Oh, and it will be an entirely vegetarian barbecue. We hope to see you all there!

Sarah is STRESSED!!!!

And where do you come in to this, you might ask? Well, here's how:

Sarah's exams start in two weeks time. These are more important exams than your GCSEs, or AS levels, or even A levels. These are, in fact, the exams that determine whether or not Sarah stays at Oxford, and she failed them last year. This, naturally, makes Sarah even more stressed about these exams, and that is where you come in. For the next two weeks, Sarah would very much appreciate it if you texted her with encouraging comments, or jokes, or odes to how wonderful she is. Anything really that will help her feel less stressed. In return, if she passes (thanks to all your help), Sarah promises to throw the BEST PARTY EVER (probably consisting of another Blog-B-Q) and will invite everyone who helped! If you don't have Sarah's mobile number, you can either get it of Richard (Stewart and Lewis) or Sarah HB, or Sophie, anyone who seems likely to have it really, or send her an e-mail, that will also be acceptable. Let the supportiveness commence!

Sarah

p.s. Please help! Otherwise Sarah will cry, and you wouldn't want that now, would you?

I've been feeling I ought to post for a while, and here is the perfect opportunity! So move up people, I'm hopping on the wagon.

First the photo:














It's me doing an oh so amusing walk down invisible stairs. It's over a year old, I have, like, no recent photos of me! I don't know what's happened!

Name: Sarah Jane Browncross
Age: 20
Height: mmm, 5 foot 4 I think. It's about average for a girl
Weight: I don't know, I've put on loads of weight recently, so about 9 and a half stone probably. My jeans don't fit anymore. *looks sad*
Hair colour: It's never quite recovered from when I dyed it Chocolate Brown...
Hair Style: Long and untidy, I'm going to get it cut soon.
Eye Colour: Hazel
Blood type: B positive. I think it's appropriate. And also, why do none of you guys give blood? You can't all be having sex with a man who has engaged in anal sex with another man, surely?
Status: Single, and also Alpha female.
Build: Not so skinny anymore... Damn half stone! Damn fattening pasta!
Siblings: Two sisters
Pets: Leo-Oliver, Sylvia-Lenin, Joseph-Galileo, all the guppies, and also the new baby frogs.
Pro-life or pro-choice: My opinions have changed as I have aged. Pro-life.
Right or left: Left wing all the way baby!
Favourite food: Cheese! (although I'm not supposed to eat it anymore)
Favourite beverage: Orange Juice (although I'm not supposed to drink that either. Damn nutritionist!)
Chosen degree subject: Physics
Chosen Unis: Oxford. I don't really get much of a choice anymore.
Personality: Well, I asked Richard for help on this. I think I'm just going to copy the conversation.

Sarah says:
describe my personality
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
sexilicious
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
seductive volatile
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
botyliscious
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
gorgeous
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
funny
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
amazgin
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
erm
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
foring
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
with a k
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
erm
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
i dunnno
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
you think i wanted you for your personality?
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
ok
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
you are
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
funn
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
ynice
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
kind
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
lok out for others
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
supportive
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
erm
Bobby the Dark {Coffee and Catch-22. Arthouse all the way, imbeciles!} says:
awas there for people

A round of applause for Richard folks!

What I like about girls: They're so much pleasanter than boys, they smell nicer, and they don't make stupid jokes when you're trying to have important conversations with them. And they totally understand what you're talking about even if you're not making much sense.
What I like about boys: Um... I suppose they can be quite funny at times, and they're good for cuddles.
Music tastes: Stuff with a tune. Also, against my better judgement, I'm getting a little into metal.
Film tastes: Nice ones. I no longer watch emotionally challenging ones. I have real life for that.
TV shows: I have no TV. And nothing will ever compare to The Farmer Wants a Wife.
Hobbies: Dungeons and Dragons! I've just started a game up here! It's so cool! I'm the Dungeon Master! I'll do a post soon and show you all the monsters I've made! And also singing.
Nationality: English
Heritage: I come from a long and proud line of illegitimate Bristolians.
Favourite colour: I like them all. What's a few nanometres between friends?
Favourite metal: Nightwish
Favourite non-metal:
Dislikes: Oxford NHS
Pet type: Cats, fish, frogs, gerbils, anything that won't die on us really. And tortoises! I really want a tortoise! Please can someone get me a tortoise? I've thought up a name and everything! It's really good!
Pet age: I think Leo-Oliver is about 6. We're not terribly good at record keeping.
House: Semi-detached
Parents still married?: Not at all.
Intelligence: Pretty good, but I'm also modest.
Gender: Female
Sexual orientation: Straight.
Homophobe?: Not at all, my last boyfriend was totally gay.
Anything else-phobe: Water. *shudders*
Been on a boat?: Yes
A plane: Yes
A hovercraft: No
Town of residence: Oxfard! and also Dulwich!
Any crushes?: There's no-one good here.
Best mate?: SOPHIE!!! and also my entourage of boys.
Am I mad? Not at all.
Lonely?: I miss all you London folk.
Feeling towards exams?: So much better than last year.
Do I like you? I like everybody!
Distinguishing features: Aura of radiance.
Any skills?: I'm pretty good at fixing things. And also at finding triple scalar products.
What would you do if in command of all?: Make everyone half Betazoid
Thoughts of future: To finally make it into the second year.
What's that?: A stupid question.
Cock size: Well, obviously I don't have one, but I do have information I could reveal... For a small fee of course...
Favourite sport: Punting
Favourite real animal: Specific puppies
Favourite mythical creature: All my monster! I love them!
Date of birth: 06/12/1985
Star sign: It's been scientifically proven to be rubbish. They had a article about it in Physics World this month. I'll show you if you like.
Chinese new year: Call me judgemental, but I'll say that this one's rubbish as well.
Happy?: Finally.
EMO!: Please. Do I really look like one?
Then what are you?: An Oxford intellectual.
Errr...: and a geek
Religious: Christian. The happy clappy sort.

Monsters post coming soon folks!

Oh my goodness!

The Hero Machine is THE coolest thing ever! Look at me! I'm in Star Trek! Aren't I cool!

Canada still

It's now 7:55 in the morning here and I have just woken up from a slightly strange dream about the duds (I had a party, they came, a good time was had by all).

If anyone wants to talk to me whilst I'm over here, I'll be online about 3:30 for half an hour or so each day. If you can't get me then, then there's always 6am, which is the other time I'll be online...

In the meantime, I suggest that you all e-mail me amusing tales to make up for all the msn conversations I'm not having. Come on people, get writing!

Canada

Yesterday was a long day. 32 hours long, in fact, the majority of which were spent sitting on a plane reading trashy magazines or watching pretty bad rom-coms. We set of for Canada at 4pm and arrived at 6pm (with a 10 hour flight in between) where we made our way to our house for the next three weeks. We've done a house exchange with a grandmother called Betty so we're in her pad in North Vancouver whilst she's gone to our house in London. It's such an old lady's house. There's not a lot of modern technology and we're all sleeping in perfumed guest bedrooms (my room contains a bed, a chair, and a small bedside table. Oh, and a stopped clock).

Today we went out to the shops. Betty's car is only a couple of years old, but it doesn't have centralised locking and the windows have to be wound down with a little handle. It does, however, have automatic gear shifting. Canada is like America in that the cities seem to have been built for cars. There aren't many pavements, and there is very little public transport. You're even supposed to drive to the ecology centre! which is where we visited this afternoon. We arrived to see a sign warning us that the trees could fall down at any time and told us to "use considerdate judgement". We then went into the ecology centre, which warned us about the different types of bear attack we might experience in the park and what to do about them. My favorite section was the one describing the difference between defensive and predatory attacks, which included the immortal line, "if the bear starts eating you, it is no longer a defensive attack". I was all ready to go home at that point, but instead we went for a brief stroll around the park, after first reading the list of all the danger point we might encounter and a list of the people who had died. Then it was on past a memorial stone to "Jaquie" who had died there whilst sunbathing... you get the point. We eventually returned to the safety of the street and returned home, thank goodness.

I'm off to bed now, it's half past ten here. More from me tomorrow, if I manage to avoid the falling trees and bears.

Goodnight

The Blogger Barbeque

I am delighted to inform you all that a final date has been confirmed for the blogger barbeque.

It will be on Sunday 3rd of July from about 1pm onwards, at my house.

For those of you who don't know where I live (everyone except Sophie, Jess'n'Chris, Helen O and Richard), it will come as no surprise to you that I'm not putting my home address up on the internet.

Richard's friends (Lewis, Jon, Dave C, Dave J, Steve, Louis, Dan, Stompp), Richard will meet you at West Wickham station at a time he will arrange with you all.

Helen O's friends (Fan and Hane), although I haven't really talked to Helen about this, I assume that she will somehow get you to my house. Is that ok Helen?

For all of those who live with me (Helen), the barbeque will be held at the bottom of the garden. Turn right out of the back door and walk in a straight line until you hit the shed.

If there's anyone else I've already invited but left out here, don't worry, you're still invited, and if there's anyone I haven't yet invited who you feel should be included, comment and tell me so and I shall endevour to rectify the situation. Comment and let me know who's coming, so I know how many to get food for. Thank you!

p.s. Helen tells me that I should tell you all it is an entirely vegetarian barbeque. Any dish suggestions? Comment and let me know.