I have sorely neglected my blog of late, to the extent that there is now so much to say that I don't think I have the energy to talk about all of it.

So much is changing at the moment; tomorrow is my last ever day of school, I appear to be on the verge of breaking up with my boyfriend, what was a beautiful friendship has been slowly deteriorating for a while and now looks set to blow apart in a cataclysmic style. I sincerely hope some good things happen soon, I don't want to wait around in limbo until october.

Anyway, the friendship. Isn't it strange how some friendships fade and fizzle out as time goes by and you grow apart and some you just know are never going to end peacefully. It looks as though friend and I will not even be able to exchange civil words once all this is over and it's sad because I love her, I really do. The first conversation I ever had with friend was over 5 years ago and I know she doesn't remember it any more, but I do. I was having a lot of problems at the time and when I bumped into her I was sobbing profusely so she gave me a hug and asked what was wrong and, when I told her, she immediately started insulting the people who'd upset me. She didn't question who was right in our argument, she just tried to make me feel better; she even came up with nasty nicknames for them on the spur of the moment and it cheered me up so much. It wasn't until a couple of years ago that we actually became friends though. I don't remember how it happened, just that it did. It wasn't until about a year ago, I think, that things started to go wrong. I can guess at reasons why, but I don't really know. We started to argue more and more often and the periods of calm between fights grew shorter and shorter. It was only about 6 weeks ago that she was helping me with a guy I knew and arranging fake parties just because I asked her to. The last time good things happened was shortly after that when she suddenly came up to me in our common room and gave me a hug. Since then things have been bad. So much so that in a way I'm dreading seeing her tomorrow because I know that she is a nice person really and I hate it that we bring out the worst in each other. I don't know why things didn't work out and I don't know if she'll ever read this or if we'll ever be able to talk to each other again but I wish things weren't this way.